Destiny

"Tell me... How would you feel if you knew exactly what you were supposed to do with your life?"

"You wouldn't be satisfied with anything else would you?"

This question was posed to me by a friend who received a word from a minister in his place of worship. The word pertained to her poems reaching the masses, she was born to be a poet. Ever since then, she expressed her dissatisfaction with everything else she was doing. She could land an amazing job, a few weeks in, sometimes a few days into working, a small voice will begin to echo in her head;

"You shouldn't be doing this."

"You were meant for more."

What was even more peculiar was the more she chased the life of a poet and succeeding in this, the further away this realisation was from her. The pain, the anguish, the utter confusion one must feel... I mean this was meant for me, right? Why is it so hard?

Is poetry my destiny?...

According to the oxford dictionary, destiny is defined as "what happens to someone or what will happen to them in the future, especially things that they cannot change or avoid"

Do we all have a pre-set destiny?...

"Dread it, run from it, destiny arrives all the same."

Thanos

Meaning we have no control, no matter what we do, what will be will be.

In his book "Free Will" Sam Harris explains free will to be an illusion, he believes us to be "biochemical puppets". He says our thoughts and intentions "emerge from background causes of which we are unaware and over which we exert no conscious control."

We are essentially on autopilot, believing our decisions are our own. From birth, our conscious and subconscious minds are being programmed by our surroundings, which will eventually be the catalyst for our decision making once basic awareness kicks in.

Awareness...

This may be the key to a basic comprehension of "destiny"... We all have a purpose, some greater than others, our purpose can and does change. As a kid, my mother used to repeat a quote from pastor Mathew Ashimolowo whenever she felt the need to...

"Your geographical location will determine your future"

Personally, I believe my purpose has changed when I've dwelt in a particular environment for an extended period of time. However, this does not mean that one cannot stay steadfast in their pursuit no matter the environment.

Destiny is not be a place, or thing or even an end goal. Destiny is part of our nature, life events and experiences that happen to us, some in our control and others not. Your destiny could be what needs to happen for you to reach your purpose in this life. Whatever that might be. These days I like to think I'm in charge of my own life, however, I'm not blind to the powers that be and whatever I can't control I try to let go. What will be will be.

In C.S Lewis' book 'Surprised By Joy', He described the future as a line not yet drawn or a line that can't be seen.

This simple statement was the seed that began a life-altering journey, questioning two phenomena some believe control this entire universe –

destiny and coincidence...

Sonder

Have you ever thought about how unimportant you might be?

I know I know we are all integral parts of this universe, we all have a role to play, our lives mean something, at the very least to someone.

Sonder...

Take a walk with me...

You are born into this world, fresh-eyed, egoless, brand new, a complete receiver ready to begin the journey of this thing called life.

As the early years go by you, you go from liquid to solid food, the body is constantly changing, you realise you can actually stand and walk with these two extended things we call legs. You begin to understand the perceived fundamental actions and reactions of humans and being a human.

Whilst all this is happening, your subconscious is subtly being shaped and moulded into what is expected, you minutely begin to lose your sense of self, now it's all about how you're perceived. You finally get a grip on the key mental and physical tools, the basic understanding of how one functions in this societal state of ours. Once you have even the slightest of grip on the type of reality you exist in, you're immediately thrown into these systems and rooms...full of dictatorial type individuals whose sole purpose is to lead, teach and inform. For some, this process could last up to 18 years, for others even more. What is the purpose of this you may ask... to become part of the masses of course.

During these years you've had your share of failed relationships, family issues lost and gained, new experiences, travelling, everything that encompasses "living". You finally come out of these systems and rooms, with a sense of accomplishment and a perceived new sense of self, fresh-eyed, eager to tackle the "real world".

Months go by and success! you find yourself a spot in the "real world", a series of systems and rooms full of dictatorial type individuals whose sole purpose is to lead, teach and inform. You come to the realisation this is to be your routine for the majority of existence, amongst other subconsciously influenced life accomplishments. You travel back and forth and from room to room, space to space, commuting, totally engrossed in this life you've created for yourself and all that it involves, you're in tunnel vision mode, a series of tasks and milestones, dependants, goals. this is your life and your life alone.

After a long day at work, you jump on the train, thinking what's for dinner, contemplating reading, whilst remembering to pick dry cleaners for your girlfriend. You finally

wake up from your trance of thoughts, look up and see a man sitting opposite you with a huge healed scar by the side of his left cheek. It followed the line of his jaw. The man is laughing and joking with his presumed partner, completely engrossed in the topic of conversation, something about a work colleague and the manager...

You believe you're covertly observing these two individuals, however, a couple of glances at you from the two proved otherwise. As they exited the train at their stop, they take one final look at you and smile.

Right there and then, it dawned on you... you were just a random observer in their epic life story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you'll never know existed, in which you only appeared once...

Sonder...

The Speck In Our Eyes

"Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye"

This was the thought that came to mind whilst laying on freshly cut grass looking up at an astonishingly clear blue sky.

During the first lockdown I found myself spending more time in the fields and park which was unusual for me due my years of intense warfare with pollen. I vividly recall my primary school years, as others eagerly awaited the summer time, water fights and spending time in nature. I on the other hand knew what this season had in store for me... itchy eyes, runny rose and sneezes that seemed like every second.

How I do not miss those days...

In the mornings leaving my humble abode, equipped with enough toilet paper to last an entire household for at least a week, knowing once the afternoon came the war began. This followed me into my adult years until I discovered bee pollen. Apparently ingesting a substantial amount of the substance which causes my allergic reaction has a counter reaction that prevents my allergy from surfacing... Intriguing how the human body works… I must say it isn't the best tasting… a bit like bitter wax with echoes of sweetness…

Pardon me…

I lost my train of thoughts...

"Hypocrites!" that's it…

As I observed my surroundings it seemed like a perfect utopian afternoon. Family gatherings, couples picnics, dogs gallanting about occasionally staring in my direction as if to say this is it.. this is freedom!...you are missing out!

Dogs... What do they know?...

Back then I couldn't help but psychoanalyse every individual I came across with the intent of coming to my own conclusion about them and why they do what they do. Even the smallest of movements or hesitance gave me an insight into their entire life! (I thought).

Of course as you do, I began to arrive at my genius conclusions about the individuals surrounding me... I noticed a young man laying on the grass staring up at the sky with a look of wonder, intensity and confusion all at the same time. I thought to myself he's probably going through a break up, might be sad and tired of life... He has the look of a man trying to it figure it all out.

As I laid back down with a satisfied grin on my face, thinking to myself... I alone know it all, I alone have the perfect vision, I alone know the truth about your lives. I began to stare intensely at the clear blue sky, in awe and confusion of how vividly and unusually blue it was this afternoon... a few seconds had passed and there it was.. a speck...right in my peripheral vision. At first I thought it was fragments from the atmosphere, however, as my attempts to divert the directing of this blemish was flawed. I realised the speck was in fact part of my very own eye. I immediately concluded that it has never been brought to my attention due to the fact that I have never looked at something so clear and perfect in my entire life.

As I continued to stare up at the sky with a look of wonder, intensity and confusion all at the same time. A smile arose and It dawned on... I was that young man...

"Hypocrite! First remove the plank from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye"